I started realizing this might be influenced by the fact that many students in today’s society don’t have the opportunity to engage in the unsupervised free play with peers that many of us who are now adults did during our childhood.

Our society is becoming increasingly isolative.  Children aren’t out playing pickup games of kickball or kick the can in their neighborhoods during free time after school, or on summer evenings as they once did. Parents are often fearful about letting kids play and roam the neighborhood on their own.

Children and adolescents participate in a great deal of solo video and computer games. Most often children’s group recreation these days involves team sports, clubs, and after school programs led by adults. There is obviously great value in structured team and after school programs, and a benefit to having excellent adult role models in these programs who positively impact students.

A downside of this shift is that kid’s are not gaining the important skills that are learned from interaction with peer only groups without adult intervention. They miss out on opportunities to practice being flexible and making compromises with each other in order to make a game work and learning that play is not always “getting their way” or winning. In peer only activities kids gain valuable experience in coming to consensus on the rules of play, decision-making, and developing social skills around communication and conflict resolution.

I remember as a kid having many opportunities for unstructured play in our neighborhood; pickup games of all kinds filled our summer days and after-school hours. Arguments about who was “it” or who won inevitably arose, but we figured out ways to work it out ourselves rather than interrupt the game to run home and get an adult to decide for us. It appears that in modern society with less participation in peer-only play, kids are missing out on opportunities to gain conflict resolution, problem solving and group communication skills. We can help students gain these skills by providing opportunities within our adult led structured programs to practice decision making and communication on their own.

After observing this trend in students I work with,  I started intentionally focusing on implementing activities that practice the use of decision-making by consensus. I purposefully create situations and opportunities that allow students to practice coming to agreement on the rules of the game, a team name, a team symbol etc. I use methods that involve pairs and then groups making simple choices together and work up to practicing group consensus. This a valuable practice for groups of all ages.

In the next few days I will post some of my favorite activities and strategies for helping learners practice these important skills. Please share your thoughts about the changes in the patterns of play, the value of “free play” and strategies you have found useful in helping students learn and practice these valuable life skills within structured programs.