I was working with a 2nd grade classroom in Middleton, Wisconsin, helping a teacher implement community building activities in her classroom.

Early in the session I used the “partner choice/which one” scenario for dividing the class up into teams in preparation for a game of Play dough Pictionary (see November 23rd entry).

I had them imagine they were at the circus and seeking out cotton candy. After waiting in line for the cotton candy they found that there was only one blue and one pink cotton candy left at the stand. The students had to decide who would get which one… One pair of students started arguing rather intensely about who should get the blue. Everyone else was ready to move on.

Instead of intervening directly with the students who were arguing. I decided to get everyone’s attention for a moment and ask a pair of students who had decided to share how they came to their decision to the group. One of the students shared: “Well, we both wanted the pink cotton candy, but I am okay with blue AND I wanted to find out what you are going to have us do with those spots and the play dough, so I let her have the pink one.”  Immediately the undecided pair looked at each other and quickly came to agreement.

At that point the student’s teacher and I took a few minutes to talk about the meaning of “compromise” and why we sometimes let go of our first choice to make things work for the group and ourselves. We moved on to the other cooperative activities we had planned for the day and forgot about the conversation.

That evening the teacher called me to tell me that a few hours after I left the students were lining up for lunch when a squabble erupted about who’s turn it was to lead the line to the cafeteria. Just as she was going to intervene, a little voice from the back of the line said: “You know guys, this is just like the cotton candy. We all just want to get to lunch.” This ended the squabble immediately- without adult intervention.

Sometimes the simple exercises we engage students in have more of an effect than we realize. Over my years working with groups I have noticed that some of the best “successes” in teaching come by accident; or the most profound lessons can come from the seemingly “less important” activities you engage a group in rather than the intense problem- solving lesson you carefully designed for the group.

Think about those “simple” opportunities you can weave into the day to day activities you plan for your group that practice these important life skills…

Reference: Tips & Tools for the Art of Experiential Group Facilitation. Jennifer Stanchfield. 2007: Wood ‘N’ Barnes Publishing.

The Disappearance of Neighborhood Games of Kick-the Can, Part Two: Strategies for Helping Participants of All Ages Learn Through Play.

In Monday’s post I mentioned that I had observed a trend of children and adolescents missing out the development of important social & emotional skills because of a lack of time for “free play” without adult intervention.

I believe we can intentionally bring some opportunities for this kind of peer-to-peer learning and conflict resolution practice in our structured settings such as school, camp, and other recreational programs. When I work with people of all ages in experiential team building programs I purposefully create situations/opportunities for participants to practice coming to agreement on the rules of the game, a team name, a team symbol etc. I use methods that involve pairs and then groups making simple choices together and work up to practicing consensus.

Here is one of my favorite simple strategies for helping learners of any age practice these important skills:

Which one? Partner Decision Making Method for Dividing Into Teams: This activity came from my time teaching in Stevens Point, Wisconsin School District’s Experiential Education program. I started getting bored with the old counting off “1-2″ method of dividing students into teams or groups for a project or activity. I discovered through experimenting with this new method that I had found a fun and engaging way to divide into groups or teams for an activity or classroom project while at the same time helping participant’s practice communication, decision- making, consensus, making a compromise with peers.

Directions:

• Have everyone find a partner.  In many situations a student will often pick a buddy you would rather they are separated from. This is fine, even preferable, because they will be splitting up soon. This method of dividing honors their need to partner with a friend because it gives the friends something to do together before they split up.
• Present a hypothetical situation with two choices. For example: “Imagine it is summer and the two of you are near a river. You want to play on the river, but the only boats available are a kayak and a one-person canoe. Which one of you will take the kayak, and which the canoe? Or: You are at an ice cream stand and the freezer has broken down, there is only one cone of chocolate, one of cookie dough. Who gets which? Cookie dough’s become one team, chocolates the other. Other scenarios I have used: cotton candy flavors, roller blades or skateboards, toboggan or saucer sled etc.

Over the year’s I have noticed that kids of all ages have bought into this method of dividing teams without “pre-arranging” themselves the way participants often do with the old 1,2 count off method. I think it could be because they get to have the connection with their friend first- you are honoring their need to pair with who they are comfortable first before sending them apart.

It can be surprising how intense the discussions and negotiations around these imaginary decisions can be!

I have had many teachers report how they have appreciated this simple exercise for helping practice and reinforce conflict resolution, positive decision- making and the idea of compromising-coming to consensus. Adult participants share that they enjoy the sense of connection and humor from sharing and making decisions about these hypothetical scenarios.

Reference: Tips & Tools for the Art of Experiential Group Facilitation. Jennifer Stanchfield, Wood ‘N’ Barnes Publishing 2007

Middleton School District Experiential Education Curriculum; Jennifer Stanchfield, 2001